#15 I’m financially dependent on my partner. I liked him a lot, and the drive was worth it if it meant we got to hang out. He could just be down on his luck. If she’s financially dependent on you now, and she’s not actively working on getting herself together, she’ll always be financially dependent … You should help her by making her get a job. But ultimately, he's a grownass adult who needs to get his shit together. My dad told me last week they are upside down on their mortgage and have only $12,000 left in their retirement savings. My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice? However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. I looked for work, but he managed to find fault with any place that offered me employment. She's super dependent on me and at times she seems clingy. Receiving isn’t my strong point. Ultimately, the woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival. If she has to move back home with her family or find a roommate or even couch surf, that’s her responsibility to handle not yours. That might make me sound like an extremely empty and shallow millennial but the truth is, money’s not a bad thing and you kind of need it. However, as Munsch notes, the chances of men engaging in infidelity when they make significantly more than their wives is "relatively small" compared to the increased likelihood of cheating that occurs when men become financially dependent. Literally half my entire day has happened by that point. But, there is a happy ending. I love my boyfriend as a person, and my dream is to one day be able to pay him back for all he’s helped me with, and all the sacrifices he’s taken on so that I can have a better chance in my career and my life. And it’s pretty clear you don’t either. A boyfriend or girlfriend can be claimed as a dependent if they pass some of the same tests used to determine if your child or relative can be claimed as a dependent. My girlfriend knows that I don’t want to live with someone until I’m married or very near to it. Years ago I started a relationship with a guy who was intelligent, good-mannered and refined. More posts from the relationships community. However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. - Answered by a verified Tax Professional. We were freshly dating, the pandemic was happening, whatever. He has shown you who he is and what he is willing to do and that is nothing. Community Answer. I want to leave my girlfriend who is financially dependent on me. She has just entered her field in a part-time position. However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. So here's the scoop, we're 24 and have been together over 3 years. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I cringe to think of the money and time she would throw away if I were to give up on us. Like I said, I could have written this exact post. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. A lot of codependent partners feel anxiety … I would list out what things you are feeling tired of, then I would purpose that x, y, z are alternatives/options that you would be okay with. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. It’s not even an option for him. She does not pay any of the bills, her name is not on any of the important paperwork, and she also does not do any of the chores necessary to have a somewhat clean house. She lives with us and helps me financially support him.. 26. To claim your child as your dependent, your child must meet either the qualifying child test or the qualifying relative test: To meet the qualifying child test, your child must be younger than you and either younger than 19 years old or be a "student" younger than 24 years old as of the end of the calendar year. 7. My boyfriend is always broke! I don’t know how many times I’ve told him if he stays up til 5, he should set an alarm for 10, and then stay up the rest of the day and I’m sure he’ll be tired by bedtime. Terms of Service, I’m Financially Dependent On My Partner And It Sucks, You Know You’re In An Almost Relationship If You’re Sending Him These Texts, 17 Life Struggles Of Women Who Are Naturally Loud, Your Drunk Self Is Your Truest Self, Science Says, “Duty Dating” Is A Thing And You Need To Start Doing It ASAP, 14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation, I Didn’t Understand Why I Kept Ending Up With Toxic Guys Until I Realized These Important Things, 12 Reasons You’re Single Even Though You’re A Catch, They Might Not Seem Like It, But These 12 Things Are Emotional Abuse, Why Not Having Kids Is Something You Should Seriously Think About, I Was Emotionally Available Until I Dated Way Too Many Guys Who Weren’t, The More Amazing You Are, The Harder It Is To Find Love, These New Dating Terms Illustrate Just How Awful Dating Has Become, 7 Subtle Signs You’re Hotter Than You Think, Women Are Getting Married Less And Less — And The Reason Why Might Shock You, It’s Time To Finally Give Up On That Guy Who’s Not Into You. But research shows that financial abuse occurs just as frequently in unhealthy relationships as other forms of abuse. Talk about a disaster. Rebecca Lake Aug 20, 2018. He doesn’t have a car, also something that is decently common. I feel like he is looking for excuses not to come home and in general I don't feel as loved as i used to. However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. He is the rock and the support system, financially … If you don't truly love your spouse, then you'd make him or her depend on you for all her financial needs. Wouldn’t you? I feel that I need to overcompensate for my lack of financial prowess. Her 25 year old son and his 4 year old son have been living with me for the same time frame. She was in a troubled family and her parents were divorced. You wouldn't be a jerk for breaking up with him, he pretty much mooching off you at this point. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. That way, I didn’t have to stick my hand out and get help from other people. I didn't believe in upholding that gender role. I’ve already gotten there with myself. For instance, driving to get him is a lot of time and money, so maybe you'd be okay with him coming over/feeding him if he got the bus or figured out a way to get himself to your place. "My single mum has repeated 'never depend on a man for your wellbeing' to me and my sisters for the last 25 years. In short, tell him to get his shit together or get out of fuck town, he sounds lazy and too relaxed. If your son or daughter is your biological child, stepchild, foster child, sibling, step-sibling, or a descendant of any of these individuals, you can claim him/her as your dependent, but the child can’t turn 19 at any time during the tax year (age 24 if a full-time student). His mom sent him some funds to help cover the costs while he was staying with me, which was fine at first, but came much less frequently over time. Audrey Bea For any partners who have earned more than $4,050 in one tax year, they have essentially earned enough to prove to the IRS that they can take care of themselves financially. I suppose some background information helps. Stop Enabling Your Overly Dependent Adult Child ... You start to explain that you have financial pressures too and he immediately says, "Fine, don't worry about me… any inputs please? She has two children, and I provide more than half of their support. I’m lucky to live without any financial needs, and I wouldn’t trade in this relationship for more money. But it’s also unethical because you’re using your partner for your own selfish means. Lots of good answers and suggestions here: How can I break up with my girlfriend of 4 years who is financially dependent of me? I’m a capitalist at heart. He just continues to sleep until the middle of the afternoon and feel sorry for himself about it, without ever doing anything to change. Depending on her earning power, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to return to work. I love being gifted pretty things—or practical things, for that matter. Send me an e-mail or visit my website holtcpafirm.com.. I’m sounding off in this article so men listen up! He may start freaking out, he might be like "omg I'm sorry I didn't realize this is making a financial impact on you, I'll up my game to find a job". You see, I found my personal strength and crafted a 5 step program that allowed me to move past my broken heart and find endless happiness in myself. Learn more about this decision. i am so curious, i was told that my girlfriend can now claim me as dependent and i will be obliged to support her financially if i want to move .. that freaks me out cause our relationship is now struggling, i have spent my life building my company, that must be a joke. He doesn’t have a car, also something that is decently common. I have to text her all day and respond quickly or she's upset. While there’s nothing necessarily explosive to be unsatisfied with, I’m afraid I just didn’t sign up to be supporting another grown man without anything in return. 2017 will be the1st year that he is a beneficiary of my health benefits. The bottom line is - I’m just tired of having to drive my bf around, pay for my bf’s food, basically try to guide him in the right steps of Responsibility. They let me know it was okay to keep the money I worked hard for, even if I could afford to lend him some, because my financial boundaries were my own to choose. I’ve been right where you are, it’s no cake walk. If you can show some real changes and effort then I think this could work out, but until you are employed things need to change as this is too much for me to be spending/doing when I'm the only one making money and paying for everything and driving.". Community Answer. Which has brought up the question, why am I dating someone I don’t want to live with? By JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst. 4. My boyfriend is always broke! Do you really want to wait around until he finally gets a minimum wage part time job to make you happy and then quits it cause he hates it/is too good to work there/the people are assholes/insert any over entitled excuse right here? They say money isn’t everything but it kind of is. 4 months. This is a chronic issues and we fight over it. I also don't think it's super uncommon to not have a car or his own place at that age but MOST have one or the other. I care deeply about her and want her to make good decisions and be happy. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. Still, I do struggle with this. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. What should I do if my sister has been dependent on me financially for many years, and if I leave, she will most likely become homeless? My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. But this isn't the case with men. It's not a way for adults who are nearing their mid-twenties to live their lives. I love your reply so thank you. Get Smart About Money! Dependent Parents under the MAINTENANCE AND WELFARE OF PARENTS AND SENIOR CITIZENS ACT, 2007 or under Section 125 Criminal Procedure Code, is one who is firstly senior citizen namely 60 years or more and secondly who has no "means to maintain himself from his own earning or out of the property owned by him" . He could be a lot of things. Who am I kidding? Tips for Dealing With Financially Dependent Parents. I haven’t been happy for a long time and I want to leave him, but I’m afraid I’m not financially stable enough on my own. Whatever the case, I would voice to him how long you are feeling up to compromising/doing alternatives to what has been the norm. Male or female, married or in a committed relationship, counting on your partner for financial security is the very definition of risky business. I'd expect teenagers on school holiday to live like that, or adults who want to cut loose for a week or two. And all those lovely expenses like rent, groceries, phone and hospital bills? If yes, can I claim both the the son and grandson, or just the grandson? Lots of us think that we’re not making enough money and that our paychecks don’t really reflect all the hard work we pour into each and every work week. With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. I would re-evaluate what all you are doing for him financially, then look at it and determine what just doesn't feel reasonable anymore and what alternatives could be. Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Figure out how he is impacting you and where it becomes too much. But the truth is, he never, ever sees our relationships this way so neither should I. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. Children who qualify as dependents. The shame hole just gets deeper and darker. But at what point is me worrying about her happiness killing my own. We’ve both cried about it together on the floor. Being poor has never been appealing to me. Um he’s literally a gigantic loser please for the love of god break up with him. My parents are 62/63, healthy, have made good money but have never been financially responsible. Tell her that you can no longer support her. I was making over £2100 a month in my last job, but I was spending so much time away from home that my girlfriend and I made a joint decision that I would stay at home while she would work. Because I’m not making the big bucks in this relationship (at least for the time being), I feel like I always have to make up for it in other ways. Eventually I started paying for all the food that we ate, because he never had money. My broken heart snatched away my power and freedom. Hey all, first time posting here so not sure what to expect. Still, there’s something truly satisfying about saving up and treating yourself to something special. However there is a problem. Don't get tripped up by the word "relative" here—according to the IRS, it can include an unrelated person who passes the four following tests concerning: Residency; Income My ex is in really deep financial problems, which I wudn’t mind helping. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. It’s not that I’ve ever dreamed of being wealthy—having enough to enjoy simple pleasures was always enough for me. Are you willing to shoulder all the burden all the time when difficult situations arise? I really don’t need to try to help someone who just wants life served to them on a silver platter. I make enough money to just cover my monthly expenses. He could be depressed. 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